Isn't Summer The Worst?
by frostyfreezyfreeze54
Summary: The second episode of my show Thank You, Heavenly. The boys' summer vacation takes a left turn when Buster applies them all minus RK to camp, which they hate. Now, the rest of Testicular Sound Express has to learn how to survive. Plus, another Homage To Classic TV!
1. Isn't Summer The Worst? Script

Thank_ You, Heavenly_

Theme Song: "Another Me" by Peroxwhy?gen

SEASON 1

EPISODE 2

Airdate: July 1, 2012

Title: Isn't Summer The Worst?

Homage To Classic TV: _Inspector Gadget_ (1983-1986)

SCENE 1

iCarly Elementary School

Seattle, Washington

Exterior Entrance

("Windows Down" by Big Time Rush playing in the background)

(The final bell rings at 11:12 AM PST on Wednesday, June 27, 2012. The kids of iCarly Elementary School are let out of class yet again for two sweet months. All of them are running out as excited as ever. But none are more excited than Testicular Sound Express.)

BUSTER: Summer is here! Summer is finally here!

RK: Hell, yeah! Hell, yeah! HEEEELLLLLLLL...yeah! Take it away, King!

(A clip is shown of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "March on Washington" speech, stating the famous words,"Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, we are free at last!")

RK: You guys still coming to my place tonight?

SPARKY: Of course. We'd never miss the Last Day All-Star Dinner of Awesomeness.

WADE: I can just TASTE the donut sticks.

BUSTER: Too bad you're leaving for a week, RK. Where are you going anyway?

RK: Fishing with KG and our parents, sexy boy.

(Buster is creeped out)

SPARKY: Ah, this sucks! Besides RK, we have no summer activity!

WADE: I WAS going to make the first model plane to break the sound barrier, but I can't after last year.

(A cutaway is shown from last summer. Apparently, Wade has temporarily lost his hearing. He feels like a sonic boom just hit him. Wade can't hear the conversation of Testicular Sound Express. He is saying odd things like, "A coffee pot? Why would you want a coffee pot?" and "No, I don't want any toast, but thanks." The boys don't understand at all.)

BUSTER: You guys are doing something this summer. Except RK.

RK: Oh, great, my future husband makes me the odd one out.

WADE: What are you talking about?

BUSTER: We're going to camp!

SPARKY: CAMP?

BUSTER: Yup, I signed us up. We're going to...(imitates Milo from Martha Speaks) CAMP WINNETKA!

(Sparky and Wade look ready to kill Buster)

SCENE 2

The Jennings Household

Seattle, Washington

Interior Dining Room

(Sparky and Wade are sitting down eating, angry as (bleep). Buster is wearing a neck brace and has a black eye and a swollen lip. RK tries to make conversation, by KG's suggestion)

RK: Alright. Anyone heard about that wildfire in Colorado?

SPARKY: I can't believe this.

WADE: I'm trying hard not to puke at this information.

RK: I know, right? One guy died, and like 350 homes burned down. Hate global warming.

SPARKY: No, not that. Buster, how could you sign us up for camp?

BUSTER: Because all month you guys have been complaining about how you had no summer activity. So I found a new brochure about a camp in Tacoma and signed us up for it. I couldn't sign up RK because he's going to miss a couple days.

RK: Don't worry, baby. You thought of me when you did this and that's OK.

BUSTER: See? RK thinks I'm a saint!

RK: I always thought you were a saint.

WADE: So when are we leaving anyway?

BUSTER: Friday, the day after RK and KG leave.

SPARKY: Buster, you know how much we hate camp. The food sucks, the boys rape you, the girls are somewhat attractive. I mean, it's a living Hell!

WADE: It's the devil's playground, Buster. There are bugs, bats, snakes, fleas, birds, moss...

BUSTER: What do you have against birds and moss?

WADE: Birds are too noisy, and moss just gives me the creeps.

BUSTER: I didn't know you guys felt this way.

SPARKY: Well, you didn't know, and now you know.

(imitating The Notorious B.I.G.) WADE: You know...

SPARKY: What the (bleep) was that?

WADE: A reference. Welcome to America, Sparks.

RK: Wow. I won't be seeing you guys again until August 21? This is a bigger bombshell than when I found out Venus Williams lost at Wimbledon.

(This cutaway shows RK crying and screaming at the computer, upset Venus lost her match. "WHY? Why would you do this? You no-talent hag! Autoimmune disease my (bleep) ass!")

SCENE 3

Camp Winnetka

Tacoma, Washington

Exterior Entrance

(The campers are getting off the bus, happy to arrive. Some have been members for more than three years. Some have even been affiliated with the camp since first grade, now serving as counselors. Sparky and Wade are less than thrilled. Buster, on the other hand, is wearing a diaper and he's ready to go. A.N.T. Farm reference. Just kidding, he's wearing underwear.)

SPARKY: Here it is. Welcome to Hell, boys.

BUSTER: You guys are overreacting.

WADE: Do you want us to beat you again?

SPARKY: Wade's right, Buster. We're not outdoorsmen. We weren't dropped on our head like you.

BUSTER: Huh?

WADE: And that's a good thing!

(Buster smiles, then walks inside)

SPARKY: Is that really a good thing?

(steaming with fury) WADE: NO!

SPARKY: This is so gay.

BUSTER: Hey! I know you don't like camp, but we are a 21st-century group of kids and I will not have that kind of talk out here!

SPARKY: Whatever you say, Buster.

BUSTER: Need Wanda Sykes on your ass.

(The three walk and join everyone else to meet their camp counselors)

COUNSELOR DAVE: Hi, kids! Welcome to another year at Camp Winnetka. Now I know some of you may think camp is grueling, hard work...

(young kid raises hand)

COUNSELOR DAVE: Yes, sweetheart!

YOUNG KID: What's grueling mean?

(under his breath) WADE: Amateur.

COUNSELOR DAVE: Grueling means something is hard and extremely challenging to do. Now I know some of you may have that perception of camp, that's not how the Winnetkas do things. Here in Tacoma, it is fun and games from sun-up to sun-down.

BUSTER: See, that's what I read in the brochure.

(reading brochure) WADE: He's right.

(calm) SPARKY: Hey, Buster's right. (comes to a realization and is then shocked) Buster's right?

COUNSELOR DAVE: You guys should wait until the end-of-camp scavenger hunt. Some of you may not know this tradition, but since 1956, we've had an all-out battle against Camp Meadowcroak in Olympia and Camp Horsewater in Spokane for the Golden Detective Hat Trophy. Horsewater has won the past three years, but this summer belongs to Winnetka!

(all the campers cheer, then go through the basic camp procedures like meeting counselors and getting cabin assignments)

SCENE 4

Camp Winnetka

Tacoma, Washington

Exterior Campgrounds

BUSTER: Isn't it a little weird how we all got the same cabin of three?

SPARKY: Nah, that's just how TV works.

CAMERAMAN: We're filming!

SPARKY: Oh, really? I mean, let's get inside.

(the three boys enter their cabin)

WADE: It's crazy how all the cabins are named after He-Man characters.

(the cabin the boys are in is called Cabin Prince Adam)

WADE: By the way, what happened to your cats?

SPARKY: I asked Manny if he could watch Santa's Little Helper.

BUSTER: Why'd you name it that?

SPARKY: Because it reminded me of a Christmas present. Better than your name.

BUSTER: If you must know, LPC is resting comfortably with Will.

WADE: Buster, Will is allergic to cats.

BUSTER: Don't you think I know that?

(A cutaway is shown of Buster trying to convince Will to take care of LPC. He mentions that LPC is "hippo-allur-gin-nick." Will corrects him by saying "hypo-aller-gen-nic." Buster claims, "Yeah, that's the guy!" Will shakes his head and takes LPC.)

SPARKY: Why'd you name it LPC?

BUSTER: For Lakewood Pride Committee.

SPARKY: You mean that Arthur episode where Arthur, Francine and Muffy started a pride committee for the school?

BUSTER: Right.

(Sparky and Buster sing the LPC anthem, "This School Is Your School")

WADE: Ah, dammit! Shut the (bleep) up!

(Sparky and Buster are pissed at Wade)

WADE: Sorry, I probably took too much 5-Hour Energy before we came here.

(Three boys come in)

DAVID: Check it out, new campers!

PAUL: How about we give 'em the special initiation?

AJ: What initiation?

(David slaps AJ in the back of his head)

AJ: Ouchee!

WADE: There's an initiation?

PAUL: Oh yeah, and it's REAL special.

NARRATOR: Five minutes later...

(The boys have messed-up hair, are half-naked, and are cowering in fear due to being sexually assaulted.)

BUSTER: They never said anything about taking your clothes off in the brochure.

WADE: HOW THE (BLEEP) DID THEY KNOW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN?

BUSTER: I...don't...know.

SPARKY: Those guys are monsters. Like the people who thinks it's OK to support...THEM.

(A picture is shown of the Miami Heat with the Larry O' Brien Trophy after winning the NBA Finals)

SCENE 5

Mr. and Mrs. Jennings' House

Seattle, Washington

Exterior River

(RK and KG are fishing. So far, it's not really working out.)

KG: Catch anything yet?

RK: Nah, not a thing.

KG: I don't get it. I thought the river was full of rainbow trout this time of year.

RK: Yeah. That's what the 'rents said.

KG: Yeah...wait, what? What'd you say?

RK: Hold on a second.

(RK replays the sentence in his head and it shows up on the screen. Apparently, he can replay any sentence or word that he hears, like Jessica Ruiz on the new version of The Electric Company.)

KG: Yeah, what the Hell is 'rents?

RK: Short for parents.

KG: Who says that?

RK: Cool kids. You know, cool teenagers with interesting names like Dax or Nitro or Maximillian who attend fancy colleges in Florida and go on expensive ski trips with their parents and drink wine with dinner at 14 because they can and...

KG: Oh, I got something! Oh, sweet Jesus, it's a monster! Yeah, we're gonna cook tonight! Yes, it's a big one! It's...just a boot.

RK: I think it's time for a break. (winks at the camera)

BOOMING VOICE: It's now time for another...Homage To Classic TV!

(Buster is wearing a sultan's robe, sitting near a fireplace and drinking Jack Nicklaus Golden Bear Lemonade with Mango out of a teacup)

BUSTER: Hello, Earth. Some of you may wonder what has happened to TV. Well, it's been sucking hard for at least the past three years. We can't bring back the shows you enjoyed back in the day, but we can pay tribute to them. This week, we homage a show that I have personally enjoyed for the past year. I found out about it on _Robot Chicken_, so I'm glad Seth Green gave me this misfortune. Here's _Inspector Gadget_. (imitating Don Adams) GO GO GADGET NOSTALGIA!

(shortened version of _Inspector__ Gadget_'s theme song and opening sequence plays)

Buster as Inspector Gadget...Wade as Penny...Santa's Little Helper as Brain...Sparky as Chief Quimby...RK as Dr. Claw...Mr. Tuxedo Pants as M.A.D. Cat

(It is a normal day in the Gadget home. Penny and Brain are having breakfast, when the Inspector arrives)

PENNY: Good morning, Uncle Gadget.

INSPECTOR: Good morning, Penny. Wonderful day, eh, Brain?

BRAIN: Raw-ruw-ruw-ruff-ruw-ruw-raw-ruw.

PENNY: He said to leave him the (bleep) alone, dumbass.

INSPECTOR: Listen, you filthy mongrel, one day I'll kill you.

PENNY: UNCLE GADGET!

INSPECTOR: Sorry, Penny. That dog refuses to respect me. I am NOT a dumbass. Hey, cereal! GO GO GADGET BOWL!

(The bowl is destroyed because Inspector is too clumsy to hold onto it)

INSPECTOR: What a slippery bowl!

BRAIN: Raw-ruw.

PENNY: He said if I'm sure I'm related to you.

INSPECTOR: OK, that's it, you (bleep) jizzrag...

CHIEF QUIMBY: Inspector, Inspector!

INSPECTOR: Good morning, Mr. Quimby. What's the skinny for today?

(Chief Quimby is wearing a three-piece suit made entirely out of meat)

CHIEF QUIMBY: Apparently, Dr. Claw has plans to hit you close to home.

INSPECTOR: How exactly?

CHIEF QUIMBY: Not sure, but I'm sending you a picture of the device he's gonna use.

(It appears to be a long metallic claw attached to a SPU-31)

INSPECTOR: Wowsers!

CHIEF QUIMBY: THIS MESSAGE WILL SELF-DESTRUCT!

INSPECTOR: Boy, Quimby can draw!

CHIEF QUIMBY: NO!

(The message explodes)

CHIEF QUIMBY: This suit costs $335!

INSPECTOR: I wonder what Dr. Claw is gonna do.

(The claw comes in and chokes Brain)

INSPECTOR: Brain, stop playing with that toy! This is serious!

PENNY: Uncle, that's the claw!

INSPECTOR: Oh, (bleep)!

(The claw drags Brain away)

PENNY: Brain!

INSPECTOR: Amazing. We'll never have to see him again.

(Penny is pissed)

DR. CLAW: Excellent. That dumb dog's absence will send that meddlesome 12-year-old niece of Gadget's into a spiraling depression. And soon, Gadget himself will become depressed. Then I can wipe him out...FOREVER!

M.A.D. CAT: Meow.

(phone rings)

DR. CLAW: Hello, this is Dr. Claw. Yes, honey, my balls aren't on the glass this time. Well, the dinner is at 5:30, so if we get there by that time, I'm sure they'll still honor the reservation. I promise I'll pick up the Krispy Kreme donuts. Kisses. (hangs up phone)

INSPECTOR: Don't you worry, Penny. I'm a master at this. We'll get that dopey fleabag back.

(Penny is pissed)

INSPECTOR: GO GO GADGET TANDEM BIKE!

(tandem bike appears)

INSPECTOR: Let's go!

(The claw is going to drag Brain to an undesirable location)

INSPECTOR: This'll give 'em the slip. GO GO GADGET BROKEN WATER PIPE!

(water pipe appears in the way of the claw and Brain, but is destroyed)

PENNY: Uncle Gadget, maybe if we get close enough to Brain, we can pry...UNCLE GADGET!

INSPECTOR: Sorry, I was watching Monday Night RAW. Who'd hate John Cena? Anyway, what?

PENNY: I said we can pry Brain away from the claw if we get close enough, and then that stupid claw will spend all night wondering what went wrong.

INSPECTOR: I'm one step ahead of you, my brilliant niece. GO GO GADGET OIL CAN!

(The can is landed on by the claw, which bursts and causes the claw to get off course)

PENNY: Good thinking, Uncle.

(Penny gets close to Brain and uses all the strength she can to release the claw's grip)

PENNY: We did it!

INSPECTOR: Too bad for Brain though.

(Brain has been knocked unconscious from having been choked for a good ten minutes)

PENNY: Brain...NO!

(Five months later, it is a dim Christmas at the Gadget home. The claw had done its job. Penny opens one of her presents, which is a copy of Starrcade: The Essential Collection. Chief Quimby comes and surprises the Gadgets with Brain, who had been revived by CPR and steak weeks ago, but decided to surprise the family for Christmas. The Inspector and Brain come to an understanding: Brain will treat him as a friend (comparing it to dog discrimination) as long as Gadget begins to make smart decisions.)

BOOMING VOICE: And that was another Homage To Classic TV! Tune in next week to see more of your childhood favorites bowed down to!

SCENE 6

Camp Winnetka

Tacoma, Washington

Interior Canoe Station

(David, Paul, and AJ, the three rapists, are canoeing, thinking about what they did.)

AJ: I feel bad for hurting those guys.

PAUL: He's right, Davey. That was an awful decision we made.

DAVID: Are you kidding? All I've been hearing about those guys since yesterday was how they don't care about our camp or what we stand for. They were roped into it.

PAUL: So, rape isn't funny. It ruins lives.

AJ: Amen. We don't need that Degrassi cutaway, do we?

DAVID: No. OK, we did go rogue on that. But they need to be taught a lesson.

PAUL: Yeah, but what?

AJ: How about we trick 'em into thinking camp is grueling after all, once the dust settles? We can make it really elaborate.

DAVID: AJ, I'm sorry I ever bullied you for your unintelligence.

AJ: When have you ever done that?

DAVID: Uh, it's not important. What's important is that we have our plan. Let's get mandibular, boys!

SCENE 7

Camp Winnetka

Tacoma, Washington

Interior Mess Hall

(TSE is eating lunch, forgetting all about the rape)

DAVID: Psst, new guys.

(Sparky, Buster, and Wade all stare at each other)

LATER ON...

WADE: Really?

PAUL: That's right.

SID: Ya mean it?

DAVID: Yes, Sid from the "FX Has Got The Movies" commercial.

SPARKY: I find it hard to believe.

AJ: It's true. We've been here for years. Camp Winnetka is all about learning how to rough it, and we learn things the hard way here.

PAUL: So get used to Camp Cupcake, boys. Because in two weeks, Hell comes to Tacoma.

BUSTER: I feel so underprepared.

DAVID: Don't worry. We'll help you, by teaching you all the things you need to know about the REAL Camp Winnetka.

WADE: I knew you shouldn't have done this, Buster.

(the three snicker evily)

SCENE 8

Camp Winnetka

Tacoma, Washington

Interior Mess Hall

(David is the imaginary counselor. All the boys are cleaning the mess hall inch-by-inch, even Paul and AJ to hide any bias or foul play. David personally volunteered them all to do it, much to the custodians' relief)

SPARKY: Are we done yet?

DAVID: Nope. (takes a speck of dirt off the floor) The campground must be impeccable.

WADE: Oh, come on. You could eat off this floor!

DAVID: Cloris Leachman could eat off this floor. Diablo Cody could eat off this floor. Alyssa Milano's evil stepsister who's not half as sexy could eat off this floor, but not us!

PAUL: David, it's not working. We've cleaned this place wall-to-wall.

DAVID: Don't worry. TSE will get tired and quit soon.

(AJ and Buster are using brooms to whack paper balls and napkins into the garbage cans)

BUSTER: Wow, this IS a really fun way to clean up!

AJ: See, I told you!

(David pulls AJ away)

DAVID: AJ, what are you doing? The new guys are supposed to be having a bad time, remember?

AJ: Sorry.

SCENE 9

Camp Winnetka

Tacoma, Washington

Interior Kitchen

(David has also volunteered the boys to clean dishes, much to the lunch ladies' pleasure)

DAVID: During the dog days of camp, as we call it, we spend hours on end doing laborious tasks, like washing dishes.

PAUL: David, this actually isn't half-bad. It doesn't look like TSE is cracking.

DAVID: Are you kidding? Look at Buster. He's so miserable! He can't go on like THAT!

(Buster was spending time making a bubble beard to compete with the one AJ made earlier)

BUSTER: Check it out, Ajax! I'm George Bernard Shaw!

AJ: Nice one! Next competition: Bubble fight!

(Bubbly soap lands on David's shirt)

DAVID: AJ, a moment?

(AJ walks towards David)

DAVID: AJ, you're supposed to make their lives Hell, not play the guessing game "That's What I Am." And don't you dare reference that movie!

AJ: Sorry, fun just follows me wherever I go.

(Buster throws bubbly soap at AJ's head)

AJ: See?

SCENE 9

Camp Winnetka

Tacoma, Washington

Exterior Forests

(Because Counselor Dave trusts them, David, Paul, and AJ were allowed to take Sparky, Buster, and Wade to the forests. This is actually another facet of their plan.)

DAVID: Another important part of the REAL Camp Winnetka is snacktime.

AJ: How can you make snacktime grueling?

DAVID: Just watch the way a true veteran does it. (louder so the others can hear) Here at camp, you learn important survival skills, skills you take with you into adulthood. So instead of me giving you a snack, you'll have to forage for it yourself.

BUSTER: That's easy for me. I'm a natural-born forager. I forage all the time. In fact...(runs away to forage)

DAVID: To forage for something, you search for it and track it down. All of our food comes from nature, but it's your job to take advantage of that. You'll have to use your knowledge of the wilderness and improvisational survival techniques to help forage for your snack.

(Buster comes back with a dead pig, much to everyone's shock)

BUSTER: Can you believe it? I wanted to find a roast pheasant, but this'll have to do.

DAVID: Nice work, Newman. I've got you on the ball for the first time today. This is a book explaining all the plants and animals that encompass our ecosystem. Mother Nature can be a harsh mistress. This little document talks about how all species work and the dangers you can run into when ingesting them, but this is especially serious for plants. Some brightly-colored ones can be extreme poison. So it's my job to make sure that every item you forage is safe to eat. OK, campers. Let's get foraging! (blows whistle)

("Don't Run Away" by Tyler James Williams featuring IM5 plays in the background)

(A short montage of the boys foraging is shown. It isn't going well for any of them. Meanwhile, Buster is sharing his 100% clean, disease-free pig with David. David is almost enjoying his time with Buster.)

DAVID: OK, campers, let's see what we've foraged.

PAUL: I got a grassy stick with porcupine slobber on it.

(The boys are disgusted)

AJ: This used to be a tomato plant. Now, it's an ashtray.

(long pause)

AJ: Or maybe someone gnawed on it.

DAVID: Both items are inedible.

(Paul turns to David)

PAUL: This one is working perfectly.

DAVID: I know, right? They'll be so tired and hungry, they'll probably never even want to come back here!

WADE: Nice bruises, Sparks.

SPARKY: Uh-huh. A wild deer bit me seven times.

DAVID: Was the skin broken?

SPARKY: No.

DAVID: Don't worry, you won't get rabies, just various sores you'll be nursing for months.

WADE: Look at what I was able to forage. It's a blueberry plant on a sunflower medley with a few nasturtium petals for color.

(bunch of oohs and aahs)

AJ: I wanna taste...

(imitating Luke Reid) DAVID: NO! I have to check it first!

(David flips through book unsurely)

AJ: How about it?

DAVID: It's not deadly. They're all stuff you can eat.

(AJ eats a blueberry)

AJ: Wow, delicious!

DAVID: Snacktime is over! Time for the next activity.

(TSE leaves)

PAUL: This plan is falling through, Davey.

DAVID: Don't worry. If the tasks aren't wearing them out, I'll just show them how boring camp is.

AJ: But it's not.

DAVID: That's the good thing about it. Camp Winnetka is never boring!

SCENE 10

Camp Winnetka

Tacoma, Washington

Exterior Forests

(After getting their bags, David and the boys are going on a little hike. Thanks for sticking with me through this story, readers. Overtime, yeah!)

DAVID: It's now time for a hike.

SPARKY: I love hiking.

WADE: Indubitably.

BUSTER: What the (bleep) was that, Wade?

DAVID: Here at camp, you'll be walking long distances with heavy packs on your backs. That's why I've filled your backpacks with rocks.

(David was NOT kidding; all the backpacks are loaded with rocks)

SCENE 11

Camp Winnetka

Tacoma, Washington

Exterior Forests

(All the boys are dog tired. Sparky is not visible for some reason)

(David talks to Paul and AJ)

(tired) DAVID: I think...we're wearing...them out.

(Sparky is ahead of the pack)

DAVID: So, tired yet, Sparko?

SPARKY: Nah, this is nothing. I used to walk home from school with a backpack FILLED with heavy books. In fact, I'm really enjoying this because this reminds me of walking through my old neighborhood!

DAVID: OK, hike is over! Time for swimming!

PAUL: David, really? Swimming's always fun.

DAVID: Not at Camp David.

SCENE 12

Camp Winnetka

Tacoma, Washington

Interior Pool

(All the boys are in the pool, except Buster and David. I'll get into Buster's reason later. David is lifeguard.)

DAVID: (blows whistle) No roughhousing!

WADE: I was scratching my ear.

SPARKY: I don't get it. There's nothing we need to know about SWIMMING.

DAVID: Oh yes, you do. Here at Camp Winnetka, the pool has all sorts of rules.

AJ: Like what?

(David is disgusted and betrayed)

DAVID: Lots of stuff. No swimming backwards, no wearing yellow, no weird-smelling people. Sorry, Buster. You can't swim because you smell like corn chips and ass.

BUSTER: I do NOT smell like corn chips.

(All the boys are disgusted)

WADE: I heard Calvin Johnson's on the cover for _Madden 13_.

SPARKY: Could you tell us something a little more current?

WADE: Chris Brown and Drake shot their shit?

PAUL: Little more.

WADE: Bryce Harper and Mike Trout have taken baseball by storm?

AJ: You almost got it.

WADE: Nadal lost at Wimbledon?

SPARKY: Much better.

DAVID: (blows whistle) No talking about current events!

BUSTER: This is nice. Hanging out and relaxing. Ah.

(David blows whistle again)

PAUL: David, this has gone too far!

DAVID: (blows whistle) No standing up and saying this has gone too far!

LATER ON...WHEN EVERYONE'S OUT OF THE POOL

PAUL: David, give up. Each of them have succeeded in some area. Besides, they're good guys.

AJ: Yeah, especially Buster. I want to go do ACTUAL fun stuff.

DAVID: I know they're good guys. But they need a lesson in camp respect. If we can't show them how challenging or boring camp can be, maybe we could show them how SCARY it can be.

SCENE 13

Camp Winnetka

Tacoma, Washington

Exterior Campgrounds

(The six boys are lying on the grass at night with bags of marshmallows and sticks. Instead of fire, they've used a flashlight.)

(bored, then stares at camera) WADE: Oh! That reminds me, why are we using a flashlight?

DAVID: Well, despite the forest thing, none of us are trusted with matches or rubbing sticks together, so we'll just have to air them out.

(Buster eats his marshmallow)

BUSTER: You're right, they DO taste better aired out!

AJ: I told ya.

DAVID: And now it's time for a scary story!

(whispers to Paul) DAVID: Trust me, these guys won't want to even hear the word "camp" when I'm through. (takes flashlight just below chin, then imitates Cedric Payne) Once upon a time...

LATER ON...

DAVID: And the doll crept at the foot of the bed when...

(AJ tries to ask David a question, traumatizing him)

DAVID: AAAAAAAHHHH!

AJ: AAAAAAAHHHH!

(both scream in unison)

AJ: Are you done with this freak story?

DAVID: YES!

(imitating Daniel Bryan) BUSTER: YES! YES! YESSS!

(long pause)

DAVID: I've scared myself. I can't finish the story. Boys, I hope you realize what you're in for. That camp is grueling, tiring, and really scary, so if you don't wanna be here anymore, perfectly understandable.

SPARKY: Are you kidding?

WADE: Today was awesome!

BUSTER: They call this a punishment?

SPARKY: We had a great time with you guys, thanks! And thanks Buster for enrolling us here. Who'd have thought camp would be fun?

PAUL: I think David has something to say.

DAVID: Um, yeah, we tricked you into thinking camp sucked to teach you a lesson, but, I guess it didn't work.

SPARKY: Oh.

DAVID: But we realized you guys are awesome, and would love you as extended group members!

WADE: Uh-huh. Buster, how do we get the (bleep) out of here?

SCENE 14

The Newman Condominium

Seattle, Washington

Interior Living Room

SPARKY: Well, I'm glad that's over.

WADE: You said it. Good thing getting us those resignation forms, huh, Buster? Busts?

BUSTER: Go to Hell, you (bleep) dicks! (runs away sobbing)

SPARKY: Poor guy. At least him and AJ will keep in touch.

WADE: Yeah. He needs somebody until RK gets back. You know how much Buster hates separation.

SPARKY: Wonder how RK is doing.

(A cutaway is shown of the two tents at night, one for the Jennings boys and one for the parents. They couldn't catch any fish and the bears got to their food, so they instead ate beans. This, of course, produced intense farting, causing RK and KG to cry in their sleep.)

("The Memory Remains" by Metallica playing in the end credits)


	2. Sign Off

Well, that was our second episode! Remember to leave the FEEDBACK! Trust me, I didn't believe the episode would go into overtime, but I'll try and shorten it for the next one. That was probably because the episode followed a structured format. Several elements of the second part were taken from the _Martha Speaks _episode "Camp Truman." Funny episode and strong performances from everyone, including Truman and Milo. Join us for next week's episode, which begins production tomorrow. In this episode, RK is stunned when only one Seattle Mariner (Felix Hernandez) gets elected to the American League All-Star team. The rest of Testicular Sound Express tries to get RK out of his funk, with the help of special guest stars Hernandez, Ichiro Suzuki, Brandon League, Dustin Ackley, and Mike Carp. Plus, another Homage To Classic TV! I guarantee you won't be disappointed!


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